The Blind Walk Continues

First let me say my life is not all doom and gloom, there are several things that keep me going. One being my son, he talks, squaks and squeals and its so funny to watch and play with him. I love being his mother. Second, being the few friends and supportive family that I do have rallying behind me. I take great comfort in them. However, I need to work out my thoughts and here seems as good a place as any.

So I got an e-mail from my father, why he couldn't pick up the phone I don't know. Anyway, in this e-mail he proceeded to talk about all the blessings God has brought his way since he left us. Well, scratch that, since he left my mum at least thats what the counselor says. So it has me thinking. Does God bless those who go against him? Here I was always believing that God blesses those who are doing his will. Maybe I am wrong, but so does that mean that my father was really supposed to leave? And if so does that mean that God made him gay? That would mean not only am I a bad Christian, which I get that feeling anyway, then I'm going against God's will.

Oh Jesus give me strength.