More Seed

I have written a post about a woman who gave me the "Pentacostal handshake" on one of the Sundays past. I also wrote that I didn't know what to do with the money. It wasn't enough to open a bank account to save for baby boy, although that was a good suggestion, and will do that as soon as I get enough money together. So, after I prayed about it, I had no other peace but to give it all back. I told God that I was giving back what he had blessed me with and that it was up to him how it was spent. Now, let me just say at church one of the lessons being taught is expect a harvest from the seeds you sow. For a week and some odd days I repeated to myself "God, I expect you to be faithful" not that he hasn't been during all the commotion. The next time I saw the woman, she gave me double the seed she had given me before! I was really surprised too. This time the seed came with specfic instructions on how to use it. I haven't found the "best" yet as per the instructions so I'm holding on to it till then. Then today riding in the car running errands, Mum just hands me the same amount the double seed from the woman was, for no reason. Just "Here its for you" and a smile. That was a blessing.



I also wrote here about screaming and a comment was made about having a controlled enviroment stress-relieving scream in real life and that its not only ok but important sometimes. I understand that, and thank you for the comment. But this was my controlled enviroment scream. Yes, I usually do hold things in...because I'm afraid of blowing people away and hurting them. I'm not saying its right or wrong, its just the way I deal. I am learning to re-phrase and really think about the things I have to say to and about people. I don't desire to hurt people, besides hurt just breeds more hurt. I am also trying to express myself the Christian way. Wait....before you get all your britches bunched, I know the "Christian way" can be argued 7 different ways, leaving everyone on different pages. But I'm not talking about the social-clubber christain way. Of course I could upload how I feel about everything and everyone on here. But truth is it wouldn't do much good at all, it would only cause more hurt than it causes me. And no, I wouldn't feel better afterwards. I do cry and let it out in small amounts but more and more I don't feel the need to, not that I don't think its not the macho thing to do. Just that some of the things I would cry and complain about, just aren't worth it. So, yes...this is what you call rambling on and on for no apparent reason.


In other news, I spent this morning at the church for angel food. For those that don't know what angel food is, its an organization that helps people obtain groceries for a discounted price. A box of groceries for $25. It has meals, veggies, eggs, meat, dessert. Father's House and Larry Hutton Ministries put together the boxes and distribute them to the public. So anyways, I went to help with whatever they needed help with. It was nice to be apart of something greater than yourself, even if it was only for a few hours.