Alot of things have been going on this weekend...and for once its not a major stress to me. I mean I acknowledge the feelings of those involved and I can see where they are coming from.

This morning my Mum let it be known that she read my e-mails that were addresses to other people. She was upset by the things I talked about or said in those e-mails. And I was just as upset with her reading what wasn't meant for her to read. I have thougt about it all day, whether or not I should apolygize for the things I wrote. But I don't believe that I should, I don't regret writting them. If I can't write exactly how I feel here and in e-mails....then where? Yet, I'm not going to shy away from what I wrote either...they are my feelings and thoughts.

Baby boy has been running a fever all weekend and there really isn't anything else wrong with him. So, I'm wondering whats going on with him. I know there is a bug going around...but he seems to have been fighting it for weeks now.

Mum had invited T over for a formal dinner...and I wrote about making lasgna and salad. Well Friday night playing basketball he hyper-extended his knee. When I called after work and after dropping Tricci off to her friend's house, he told me about it. I told him what to do to take care of it, and of course threw in there that he should see a Dr. When he saw I was getting worried about him he said, "I'm just playing don't worry, I just wanted to see your reaction." We both knew he really hurt it, that was just his way of making it funny. And mayby if I laughed it off I wouldn't worry about him. So this morning, he calls and tells me he is going to the hospital, he might have torn his miniscus (knee ligament) but for me to go ahead and make dinner. So I did, I went and got the groceries and was making dinnner when he called, saying he went to the hospital but left before being seen. Something about a waste of time. He asked me to put a plate aside for him and bring it to him later. So, I did just that. After I and the rest of the family had eaten, I took it over to him.

When I walked in the door, T's little sister "Yaya" comes straight to me and hugs me. That was a surprise, the past few days we had spent with Yaya while she was sick actually made a difference to her. I sat his plate down and took to carring for his knee. Now his step-mom was also there...and she didn't take too kindly to me "taking care" of T. You know the basic...your-not-good-enough-for-my-son, i'm-his-momma thing. But she needed me to run to the store for her...T and I left for the store. He was walking with a cane. I know how much he disliked that, how much he wanted to just walk on the knee and suffer the pain. And I have to admit, it was hard for me to know my place in that moment. I wanted to help him, to bring everything he needed to him so he wouldn't have to move. I wanted to be able to just focus my attention on him and not worry about what his step-mom thought. At the same time, I know he would have pushed me away if I tried to help more than I did. He didn't want the cane to help him walk, he certainly didn't want his girl to help him walk. So, I walked slow, but not so slow that he would feel like I was waiting on him to catch up. I offered my help in gesture, instead of words and didn't say anything when he said, "Go ahead, I'm fine" We still laughed and played together. When we got back home we had started talking about why his step-mom does not like me. From T's explaination of things, she thinks I am going to do the same scandalous things she did to T's dad...she thinks that I'm going to end up hurting him and ruining his life.

If I had of heard this 6 months ago, I would have really fretted over it. But T and I both know...and trust each other in our relationship. While I would really like them to like me, its ok if they don't...it doesn't make or break T and I.