Last night at Covenant Care Group, I was told to continue to be faithful at my job and that a promotion with better shift hours was coming. That God had promised provision and that he would do it, just be faithful.

I smiled at that...the past two weeks really tested me on my job. I have gotten written up 3 times and I'm still in my probation period. For me that really isn't acceptable. I had gotten a little worried that at the end of my probabtion I wouldn't get the raise. Then about the middle of last week, I was really happy about my job. Even with all the drama with co-workers, and all the hassle from some of the charge nurse's and the beligerance of some of the residents....I love my job. I love being able to take care of their needs. I love it when one of the resident's tells me I gave her a A+ shower experience, or when a resident decides to come out her room for dinner with me. After that revelation I decided I wasn't going to let the negative get to me. So that word was just funny to me.

Friday, I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. It seemed no one was on the floor but me...at one time I was the only one on the floor. But anyways, T called and the med aid answered the phone. He said it was important and she put him on hold to come find me. The unit manager got a phone call on the other line, so when I asked the med aid who it was she said, "I don't know, some guy he says its important." I asked if he called me Carrie, or Kari... She said Carrie. I'm thinking ok...that narrows it down, its someone that knows me...little brother or T. I asked what the number was that came up and it was T. I borrowed her phone thinking there was something really wrong...like T saying he was going to the hospital. On the contrary....He had washed checks in the laundry. My heart was racing but I had to laugh at the situation. We got it all sorted out on my break and he was good to go. He left out of town for some business and he will be back soon.

Mum and I have been getting along alot better and there hasn't been the bickering with little brother and I. It makes things alot easier here. Its time to get ready for the holidays and decorationg the house and stuff. It will be very interesting with baby boy up and running this time around. I was thinking though...what the holidays really mean to me. With T it is just like any other day, just more food. I don't think he ever spent two holidays with the same people. The holdiays to me are just time to spend with your family, loving each other. Its not about the presents, or the food...they are just something you share with family. My Mum and Dad always told us the story of christmas. However, now I see Christmas and Thanksgiving as family time together...and carrying Jesus with us all year long. I'm still not big into presents, but I love decorating and putting up a tree, finding that one gift thats perfect for someone special and watching them open it.

I frequently visit the Travel the Road forum site and from time to time leave comments. The latest topic that caught my eyes was the topic of dating. A young lady wrote in saying she was afraid of dating because she didn't want to get heartbroken. I can understand that...and in many ways I think teens take things way too fast in relationships...which only makes the hurt worse when it ends. another person responded to her by saying it was not God's way to date, that she should not date anyone and trust that God bring the boy to her when she was ready. She also suggested a book, "I Kiss Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. I just really don't agree that one should never date. Again, its all a balance. Sometimes you have relationships with boys/girls for a reason, to learn something about yourself or how to relate/care for others. We as flesh and bone take things too far, thats what gets us in trouble. Instead of teaching our children and teens to never date...we should teach them what dating and courtship is, what should and shouldn't happen in a relationship. I heard my family say lots of times, "You should only date when your ready to get married." And while thats not the situation I'm in right now, I do see the wisdom in that saying.

If we could get our children to see, that a relationship is not kissing and holding hands. Those are acts of affection...not a relationship, and that those things mean so much more when you do have a relationship. And teach our children to value themselves and those they care for, then just mayby they will do better in relationships then we are doing. Cause I could kiss all day long, but if I don't know and care for that person....it does absolutly nothing for me. I found out too that kissing is considered very intimate for some or mayby even most men. I remember when T would tell me just how much he loved kissing me. It sounded silly to me, because of the way little girl's fantasize about kissing. Now, I know just how much kissing means to him, and that he doesn't just kiss everyone. So when he kisses my forehead, my cheek or my hand it means something. It shows his love and respect.

Now on the other hand, there are those that don't date. Like my parents for example...My Mum says to this day, she did not date anyone growing up. My father was only her friend until they were engaged (in her mind), he was her first kiss...her first everything. And has been her only. I know in my Dad's mind they were "dating" and I remember hearing something about him telling the other guys to back off. Just like there are those that meet over the internet or through dating services and find their one true match. So, I think it all comes down to balance...sometimes to find the truest love you have to look in the most unconventional places...other times its a life long friend or just a guy who happened to ask you out. Sometimes it will hit you in the face...other times you have to look for it. There is no absolute way to find love, there is no absolute way to experience love and never get hurt. It has to be a chance your willing to take.