Meeting the Need

Sunday, in a conversation with Tricci a comment was made..."Well, you have always been needy. And thats not healthy for anybody." All that night I racked my brain and made myself miserable trying to contemplate all the ins and outs of it. Then yesterday I talked to my Mentor about it. And she said thats Tricci's opinion and I have to be ok with myself and not worry about what other people think.

That made sense to me. So, yes I'm very touchy-feely affectionate, be around you all the time person. Not out of need, because I am able to do things by myself, its out of love. I like to touch you when you come through the door. I like all of us to sit at the dinner table and eat and talk. I like to cuddle and be around those I love. I'm not the type that can be in my room while they are in their respective rooms all night. I don't like knowing I cooked a meal and no one but me eats it. I don't like each of us having our own t.v. and watching 3 different things. I don't like to be in the same room and not be talking. Thats just how I'm wired. Thats how I know you love me and how I show my love to others. Yes, sometimes I take it as rejection when a person wants to be alone, but I'm doing very well with handling that now. It used to really hurt my feelings when one of my friends or family would want some time by themselves. That would be the only "unhealthy" part I see about it and I have for many years worked on respecting their alone time.

So, this point and many others made me decide not to move in with Tricci and her sister. That and I already have other plans. She is disappointed and upset but I would rather her be that now, than have a ruined relationship later.

There also was a surprise wedding yesterday...

T's stepmom and her long time on and off again boyfriend got married. Outside, in the cold on Halloween. I wish them well, and that they have a place in each other. Not many people were thrilled about this some what spontaneous wedding, but we are all trying to make the best of it. Its not about how we all wanted her to work things out with T's dad. Its not about some of us feel this new guy isn't up to par. Its about the choice they made to be faithful, loving and always uplifting each other. I wish them well on fufilling that commitment together. The rest of us will deal with our feelings about it in an adult, civilized manner. I think she knows it won't happen over night and I don't think she is trying to make it that way.