Its been a while since I have written but lots of things have been going on. alot of things have changed in ME.

First I want to talk about the letters I got from T! I was sooo excited to get a letter from him. I was literally bouncing up and down. He is doing great!!! and BCT is alot easier than he thought it would be. He told me about being maced and pepper sprayed, even salt poured in his eyes. He was also put in a gas chamber exercise. He didn't like that too much...but who would. He said next was the warrior tower for repeling. He is getting along with the people there and says he rushes alot to wait. He said he missed me like crazy for real and that he loved me.

Of course I wrote him back and will be sending it off today in the mail. I'm home with Baby boy sick with a light cold.

Anyways, what else. I had Tricci color my hair...I did something completely unexpected and "wild" I'm now a two-toner. I have bright copper red hair on the top and medium brown with hints of red on the bottom. It turned out great. Everyone says it becomes me...well except Mum the only thing she said was "Its Purple!" But its cool, she doesn't have to like it, its my hair. It was really a big deal for me, I wanted it to turn out so much. I had to come to grips with....ITS ONLY HAIR...its grows and changes. If it doesn't work it will be ok. But it turned out great. Then I got my hair cut...2 inches and relayered, oh and a side swipe bang. So when its straight its right at my eye level.

I found a pine tar soap for my face....its working better than anything else has and its only been a couple days.

I'm still working out, and have fended off the "diet pill" temptation. I'm not knocking those that use them, but for me there is somethiing about making my self get off the couch and go to the gym. I feel tons better about myself.

I'm looking for a great outfit for Graduation. I have figured out the colors I would most like...bright emerald green and chocolate brown. With my hair and skin tone...that would look fabulous. I'm thinking a satin fabric. Not sure whether to do a pants suit, skirt set or dress....we will see. I have 6 weeks to find it.

I visited a Messianic Church the other week. That is a Jewish church or synagouge that believes Jesus was and is the Messiah...Christians that follow the Jewish ways. It was very interesting. The people were warm and friendly. We sang Hebrew songs and cantars. I saw the lighting of the Menora and touched the Torah. I think the thing that stood out more than anything to me was oddly enough, the Menora candles had the stillest flame on each of them...it never moved. I think I will go again to another Shebat service.

At my church, Father's House I am taking a Jewish Feasts class. We talked about the importance of Passover...or Pesauch. Its amazing what it all represents and means...I look forward to celebrating it when it comes.

Oh, and I saw this thing about cuddling on tv...it was weird but it made lots of sense...at least to me. I have heard that statistic that a woman needs to be touched affectionately at least 8 times a day that doesn't lead to sex. Like hugging or a holding hands, cuddling, rubbing her back, playing with her hair. So as I was waiting for Mr. to get out the bathroom it hit me....

WE GIVE AWAY MOST WHAT WE WANT TO RECIEVE

I mean looking back over my life...I always loved cuddling with my dad, and loved the sunday afternoon nap when all of us piled in the bed. I am usually sitting closer to someone than farther away. Baby boy and I cuddle and touch all the time. And it always seemed weird to me before but I would always be touching T in some way. One of my favorite things was to trace the sides of his hairline, or the back of his neck. It doesn't bother him, but the more and more I think about it, that was for me. Its a physical intimacy with those you love and sex has nothing to do with it. When I was pregnant, I would be in a tiff because when everyone came home from school and work....they didn't hug or touch me in some way. I was alone all day with lil bump. I really miss hugging my dad and my mum. And cuddling on the couch.

But I'm also learning that it isn't just in regards to touch. I have a thing about being polite and saying thank you, no thank you, excuse me and stuff like that. I need for people to say that to me, so I always make sure that I do that for them. Whether they need it or not. For me its not so much about the manners...although I do think every lady should have them. Its about appreciating someone...and being appreciated. Valued.

Its an interesting way to look at things...and you could find out alot about others around you. What is it that they give so freely? Is it something they need in their life? I know sometimes it would be so much simpler just to say, "hey i need a hug" or "can you cuddle with me, i really need it" but in all honesty its not always easy to ask, and sometimes you just don't want to ask...you know it kills the moment kind of thing. Still I think its all about being flexible. I know there are times when T can't or doesn't want to be that close. So I have to be flexible enough to let him have space and truly cherish the times when he chooses to be flexible on my behalf. And not just with T...he was my example...its with everyone.