Today was a bit chaotic...stressin about the rental car for the trip and being excited put me over the edge. I just couldn't deal with people today. I managed to keep it reigned in though...
However, because there was no outlet for it...constructive or otherwise...I have been tense all night. Not been able to relax and let go. I have thought many times that writting here helped, and it does...but I'm finding the feedback and discussion about the given topics or circumstance is needed. I could talk with T about it...but letters don't do it justice and 2 min phone calls every other week are not cuttin it. Yet...I'm not sure if I trust anyone else enough to completely let go and tell them everything that is going on. And even as much as I talk about saying whatever I want to on this blog... inevitably, there are things on here that only touch the surface.

But anyways...today I found out that something I had written had been discovered by someone else...and they suggested I write a book about it because I was very detailed. It was flattering but I think that is as far as that goes. Mayby one day I will write a book about something else. I hate being so vague in my writtings....something...someone....something else...but anywho.

Baby Boy is learning new words...red, green, why, car, ball, mine, read, and boy. That is in addition to his other known words...Mommy, Daddy, Nana, light, that, hi, bye, Ry, Saiah, Bobbi, and baby. Everything else is "huh"

We were talking earlier in Feasts of the L-rd class on Wednesday nights...that a persons name is like a seed being planted everytime that name is spoken...that a name has powerful meaning into the person you are or will become...so I looked up names...

my name means...Joy, song of happiness & worthy of being loved, loveable.

baby boy's name means...son of the right hand, laughter... his middle name is a family surname.

T's name means...Priceless, highly praiseworthy, he adds & wealthy guardian, strong as a boar.

Thats pretty interesting...it almost makes me want everyone to start calling meby both names like my mother use to do all the time. So everytime I heard it...I would be reminded. Everytime T heard it he would know that he is going to do great things with his life. He won't have to live under the word that he won't do anything. And everytime Baby boy hears his name...he would know just how special he is....