This is tough for me to say...so bear with me...

I caught baby fever last week. All I can think about is being pregnant again...T and I having a child together. And while I know the timing isn't right...it wouldn't be fair for T to bein Iraq for the whole pregnancy and the baby be 9 months old before he could hold him/her. We would both want to both be here for every craving and baby kick. Not to mention the delivery...

And I know a bit about hormones and can obviously see its just a hormone game...and mayby a little fear, what happens if he doesn't come back...but I know beyond knowing that God will take care of him and bring him back...so I just have to talk to the fear and command it to leave...but hormones? I didn't know you could command them and they leave.

Yet at the same time...hormones or not...I still would only love to be pregnant...knowing its a child made from T and I's love for each other. I miss him so much right now I can't put it into words...I'm sooooo excited he gets to come home. There aren't enough descriptive phrases to express it.