I'm experiencing some frustration right now.

T is upset because I didn't call him on his birthday...I couldn't I didn't have the number. I only got that today. I did send him an e-mail though. I talked to him today and he rushed me off the phone promising to call back later...and yeah well he never really calls back.
I hate doubt...and the funny thing is that once a simple comment is made that makes me doubt one thing. I begin to doubt everything else in my life. One comment Mum made about the apartment...made me doubt my dress today...I changed 4 times. Made me doubt Baby boy's hair cut. Doubt my actual ability as a woman, mother, and student. I really don't like that. There are so many good reasons why I'm doing this...so many things it will help me to grow in and accomplish.

It puts a real damper on my excitement of moving. I know he loves me, and I him...he is just different now. Not in a good or bad way, just different. It takes some getting use to. Over these next few years we will both change tremendously. I'm still stoaked...and I know he is too. I just miss him. Wish he was here to watch me move in, well not watch but help. lol. To hug him when I get the keys and dance with him in the living room of my first apartment. Of course I'll still do those things, and he will still be with me. And we won't have to wait so long to talk or see each other.

And as much of a peace I have about moving...I still wish Mum was at least confident that I could do it.