Marriage

T is definetly coming home for Christmas!!!! Yay!

Now that, that is out of the way! Just a couple things I want to mention here...We ran into a friend of T's family in the store last night...I was with Q & D. Once she introduced D as her boyfriend and the FOF (friend of family) gave him a hard time and made sure he knew where to find him etc...he asked who I was. Q introduced me as T's girlfriend. "T in the army? " He said, "Baby girl, hold out your hands..." I did... " He hasn't taken care of you yet? If he don't marry soon...come holla at me, I'll take care of you." I laughed it off, I'm sure he meant it in a joking manner anyways...I thought it was pretty funny. I was standing there in about 4 different non-matching colors, with a purple doo rag on my head, no make-up or jewelry on.

Then this morning, a guy-friend dropped me off to school. He made the comment, "Too bad you have a man, if you didn't I would marry you." He said it sincerely and I know he cares. It actually kind of hard to be friends with him sometimes, knowing that. But with firm boundaries and reminders here and there, he has most recently respected that I am T's woman.

And to be honest, the thought crossed me mind...all these different people have made the comment that T should swoop me up before someone else does or before they do...why hasn't T done it yet. I had to remind myself...T is the one I want, not the others. I can wait till he is ready. I know not to push him, and when he gets to that point of actually doing it, he will. I really do believe that he is waiting for school and the army situation to pass and he has a better grasp on life. And if I am being mature about it...I need to prove to myself that I don't NEED him to take care of me. That I have things to offer too besides the traditional wifely/motherly duties. I don't want anyone to be able to say I'm a burden to him. Especially his ex-step Mum. And with the thought of her in my head I told myself...I refuse to be her. I am not setteling for what she thinks I am capable of. Nor will I pattern my life after hers. I will be true to my heart, to my man and to my vows.

This isn't a game to me. Yes, I desire it with all my heart, but when the time is right.