Thank you all for the comments you left. Each one of them encouraged me and made me smile.

The update for school is this...T and I talked last night. No matter what has to happen to keep me in school he is going to help me fight for it. T told me that I am strong enough to do this, to dig in deeper and get it done. That really gave me a peace about it...I know I can do this. His Mum has agreed to keep Baby boy till I can find a daycare, and because of limited transportation she is keeping him through the week.

Friends at school have offered to help get me back and forth to school if I need a ride.

I feel comforted by that. It will be hard, but doable.

Now is the time to just work at it harder. Nothing worth having comes easy...I should know that by now...not relationships, not children, not family, not school or work...

One comment that I received online that blew me away was this..."You have earned your life, I'm proud of you." All of your comments were uplifting but this one made me think. As much energy as I have put into this. As many tears, hours of my brain just being jelly, the physical wear and sacrifices I have already made...I'm earning my spot in life. No one...not T's stepmum, not my mum, can look at me and say I didn't work for what I wanted. They can not say that I let life pass me by, or did nothing to fufill my purpose in life. And whether or not they ever acknowledge this...I know its true.

~~~~~

But all of that still doesn't stop me from saying the absolute wrong thing to T at the worst time...At school a male student made a horrible comment asking me about my abilities sexually. I was so embarassed that he said this in front of a group of my peers. And I didn't want to hurt his feelings so that I basically let him off with a tap on the wrist. Then to make it worse...I told T about it...in the middle of a really good conversation just before we were going to go to sleep. I was thinking it was just telling him how my day went. But I just ended up frustrating him even more about being away from each other. And if he would truthfully say...probably really frustrated and even angry with me for letting him speak to me that way. And it didn't hit me until I was talking to my Grandma on the phone. I feel so completely naieve. Why on Earth would I think that T wanted to hear about another guy saying something out of line to me...especially when he can't do anything about it. (Although I realize that it shouldn't be up to him to do anything about it, that I have to deal with it and make men respect me...period. However, he is protective and would do something if he were here.) Then to add on to it that he had to go to bed thinking about it....that was great on my part. I feel like I was really inconsiderate of what his feelings might have been hearing that. I should have thought it through more.